Do you ever feel guilty for no reason?  Well, join the club…

I’m sure I’m not alone in this – I used to feel guilty all the time. It isn’t a pleasant feeling at all, but guilt serves a purpose – it keeps us in check and on the right path, the problem is when it becomes a normalised emotion in our daily arsenal. But, it loses that purpose when it sticks around for too long. Living a life with guilt is exhausting and causes unnecessary anxiety – we have more than enough of that already.

Guilt doesn’t make you selfish – it makes you human
It took me a long time to even acknowledge that I have needs, never mind actually addressing and tending to them.  I thought that would make me selfish, if I’m focusing on me instead of the people around me.  When that happens, we end up running on empty.  I am programmed to take care of others, and it gives me great joy and abundance to do so, yet I think that I’ve taken this caring element of myself to the extreme. Because of this I found myself racked with guilt when I tried to assert myself, or even now try and uphold boundaries. Believing deep down that if I shift the focus on my own needs that I will be rejected. What I’ve had to learn is to keep some of me, well, for me.

Identify the root of your guilt
It’s important to remember that large doses of guilt don’t just arrive – we are taught from an early age to treat others as we want to be treated.  That’s a great thought, until we dig into how we actually treat ourselves.

If you are feeling guilty for no reason it can usually be traced back to your past. We all have an “inner critic”. The stories that you tell yourself usually stem back to what messages you received growing up.
Your “inner critic” serves a powerful purpose, it is formed to help keep us in check, to behave in such a way that we fit in. It helps us survive and ensure we maintain the connection to others we so desperately need. The problem is, these voices become us, they might have helped when we were growing up to protect us, but now they are just holding us back from reaching our potential.

You have to:

• Learn to focus on your own needs.
• Realise that it’s not your burden to carry,
• Acknowledge it and be compassionate with yourself.