February 2020 Newsletter
February 2020 Newsletter
Letting Go with Love
And, here we are – in the month of LOVE again. It’s a beautiful time to spread love and light to others and most importantly to yourself. And ladies, it’s a leap year, so if your partner is taking too long to propose – this is your chance! Not that I believe in the antiquated patriarchal rules of society, but it’s still fun isn’t it?
For me, the first stage of self-love is letting go. This is one way in which I try to practice self-care (it’s not easy for me, but I keep on keeping on). I shared this on Instagram in January, which will be my mantra for 2020:
What flows, flows.
What crashes, crashes.
I only have space and energy
for the things that are
meant for me.
I am, by nature, a control freak which means that letting go doesn’t come naturally to me. My need for control, sneaks in every now and then and 2020 has barely even started. But, of late, I have been writing a lot about letting go.
Letting things just unfold. Trusting in the process.
Allowing the flow of abundance means allowing things to flow, no more forcing things, if it’s meant to be it will, and almost always, better things await.
It’s hard to have that mindset in this new era of #goodvibesonly. Being content with the fact that everything happens as it should and not let my fear of losing control keep me awake at night, because let’s be honest – things crash!
It’s literally impossible for us to be #goodvibesonly ALL THE TIME. For the most part – yes sure, I am all about good vibes, the power of positivity and I always see the glass as half full. I mean if it’s always half empty – pour it into a smaller glass! I just remind myself that the mind is like a river. When it’s in flow, it feels good, you want it to continue,so let it. Let it flow. But the truth is, everyone is surrounded by distractions.
Distractions can lead to disaster
My biggest distraction this year by far, is my daughter starting Grade 1 – my baby is starting her journey of the most difficult time in anyone’s life – 12 years of school – where everything is put to the test – the choices that she will make at every turn will set the pace for the rest of her life. The friendships she makes will lead her decision-making process. The impact her teacher will have on her life is crucial, it keeps me awake at night you guys!
Throw-back to 30-odd years ago when I started Grade 1 – I still remember clearly sitting on the ground outside my Grade 1 class – in a row – being shouted at to put my one hand on my head and the other hand’s index finger on my lips.
My daughter now – in the same environment – sitting in a row. Although I haven’t stuck around long enough in the mornings to see if they still sit like that with one hand on their head when the bell rings – haha – maybe I should?
Trusting someone else with my precious baby is making me want to rip the hair out of my head. The people she is surrounded by will have a lasting impact on her development, and I need to trust that I have raised a daughter unafraid to stand her ground and stick by what I’ve tried to teach her. But this is evidence of my inherent need for control. I need to trust the process and step in if or when I need to.
She is loving it though, but with a big change comes a big adjustment – and we have had the start of her trying to cope with all the new rules, new environment and biggest change that comes with having been in a very small nursery school with only 6 in her class, to a very structured 30-in-a-class-environment.
I have to remind myself that this too shall pass, even if she comes home crying that she was sad in class today because of things that happened or someone who didn’t want her to sit next to them anymore – she also has to experience life as it comes, build up some resilience, working through the pain, to keep going no matter how hard it is. It breaks my heart that I can’t shelter her from all of these necessary life experiences.
We all have good days, and we all have bad days. I just have to remind her:
- Of the good experiences.
- To take every moment as it comes.
- Don’t focus on your sadness, yes, feel sad, but then remind yourself that it’s only a moment in time.
I have to remind myself daily to release the sheltered hold I have on her – she needs to spread those wings and know that I will still be there to catch her if she falls. And fall she will – and I have to let her. It’s probably one of the toughest aspects of being a parent, friend, lover, child – letting those you love fall in order for them to grow.
Still, back to the crux and what most of us want to know is, how can we allow the flow to continue while still feeling like we are not losing control.
Interesting dilemma. No hard or fast answers here I’m afraid, there are a few things I have tried with satisfactory results and I hope it proves helpful to you.
First of all, I hit the pause button in my mind when I feel like the flow of energy is being distracted. I focus all of my attention on the moment, to be in it, instead of allowing thoughts of what I can do to control the outcome, I simply acknowledge the feeling and let it go. The energy in surrendering and letting go is much more effective than the energy of control.
Letting go means to stop fighting, with the topic, with yourself, with the Universe. Stop resisting and pushing. It’s not about not doing anything, it’s about doing it from a place of surrender energy. I know I am in control mode when I get that feeling that I am swimming upstream, it takes effort and every moment feels like a struggle, a fight – I have to change my mindset to visualising myself relaxing, letting go and flowing down stream. I breathe deeply and say to myself – relax, let go, and usually that is enough to get me there.
Other times I have to ask myself the following questions:
- What am I afraid will happen if I lose control?
- Who or what am I trying to control?
- Is it something I can directly influence?
- Will letting go give me a sense of freedom or not?
Being receptive and allowing things to happen is a skill you have to practice. It helps to believe that the plan for your life is always with good intent, that God and the Universe only wants the best for you, is supporting you at every turn. You don’t have to worry about the details. We can choose to do things the hard way by fighting the current upstream, or we can open our hearts in surrender and with love flow downstream with peaceful focused energy that accompanies holding the intention of what I want but not forcing myself to do it.
When we embrace peace and balance we still move forward in life—just with far less stress and a greater appreciation for everything around us.
Stay tuned for my next newsletter – All about Self-Love!
Enjoy February and remind yourself to let go of control – breathe and relax – flowing downstream with peaceful focused energy.
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