Have a holly, jolly YOU season

As if by magic, the silly season is upon us, shops are busier, Christmas music can be heard at nearly everywhere you go, and most of all, people seem jollier than at any other time during the year.

I always love this time of year, the weather is amazing, everyone is in a good mood, we have families and friends getting together (loadshedding and lockdowns allowing…), the spa is running at capacity, and it’s like the Christmas cheer rubs off on everyone, even those who don’t celebrate it.

The (sometime) Joyful Journey
Personally, the last year has been a new journey for me. I really had to focus on gratitude and self-assuredness – the idea that I have enough and that I am enough just as I am. For me, it’s all about balancing feelings that I am enough whilst still growing, because let’s face it, we can always improve, and things can always be better.
I used to feel a constant pressure to do more, be more, feel less – looking for appreciation outside of myself.  I was living in a constant state of ‘impostor syndrome’. I had to step back and examine so I could find a new way of operating.

The impact of feeling overwhelmed can range from mental slowness, forgetfulness, confusion, difficulty concentrating, a racing mind and an impaired ability to problem solve – all of which sound eerily similar to the aftereffects of my bout with Covid.  Having survived this horrendous virus, and knowing people who weren’t so lucky, please take care to keep yourself and your loved ones safe, I digress… These are also all signs of being perpetually overwhelmed. If you are feeling this, try some of these questions and strategies that have helped me:

• Can I pinpoint the source of overwhelm?
• What one or two things if taken off my plate would alleviate 80% of the stress I feel right now?  Even if you can’t take them off your plate, will this question still help you identify a significant source of your stress.
• Set boundaries on your time and workload. I spent a significant amount of my time sorting out issues at the spa, this was an unproductive use of my time, but it also reinforced my staff’s behaviour of escalating issues to me instead of learning to resolve these problems themselves. Saying no to these escalations and setting expectations with my spa manager has helped tremendously with this. She really does her best to work out these issues before coming to me which in turn creates more breathing room for me to focus on my priorities with less distractions.
• Ask yourself, “what is the highest and best use of my time?” delegate things to others. I was still clinging to responsibilities that I had always done for fear of giving up control. By doing this I also empower the person I delegate to.
• Let go of assumptions, like the belief that if something falls through the cracks, I’d fail, or if I am not there to help others, I won’t be needed and people will question my value, or if I lose control, others will mess up and the company will fail. While these big assumptions felt real to me, were these limiting beliefs not true and kept me stuck in old patterns that significantly contributed to my sense of overwhelm.

It’s an ongoing process, but one I can now identify and debunk which in turn reduces my overwhelm and provides me with a greater sense of agency.

I hope you have a profound December, arriving at every moment being fully present, employing the above strategies in order to help mitigate the frequency and extent to which you feel overwhelmed.

I wish each of you a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Much love, Tania